The question should be: if parents do not assume responsibility for their minor children's criminal behavior, who should? Judging from the interactions of many parents and their children, especially when they allow them to run amok in shopping centers, restaurants, and other public places, many seem to believe the guidance of their children is everyone else's responsibility.
It is difficult to believe there are parents who actually believe they are not responsible, in some measure, for the behavior of their minor children's criminal behavior. It may be a difficult conclusion to reach, but once reached perhaps therapeutic and remedial actions can start to take place. When parents live in a constant state of denial no one gains, themselves, the public, or their minor children. Most children do not end up in correction facilities without parents contributing in some way, perhaps inadvertently, but they do nevertheless. If the average parent looks back over their children's lives, they will discover, whether they now have good or bad behavior, getting to where they are was a process. When their minor children committed small infractions and there were little or no discussions, they went on (and on) to perpetrate more serious acts of disobedience.
When children are born into families, it becomes parents' responsibility to see that they are acclimated not only into that family but also in any other public or social settings. Even small babies seem to know parameters if they are set early on. Children need to know the boundaries and the rules of the house as they grow older. Parents who fail to erect those boundaries or set house rules are going to run into problems with their children. There are very few minors today who can resist the pressures of their peers and they usually will not unless they know with certainty that doing certain things will have some serious consequences.
There have been couples who have visited me with their small children and the children would have had my home in ramshackle condition in minutes if I not intervened. It amazes me that fathers today cannot seem to make their children toe the line. When I was a child and on the occasions I misbehaved, either of my parents had only to look at me and whatever I was doing, no matter its attraction, ceased immediately. There was never a word spoken, but I knew without a doubt the outcome if I had continued.
Minor children need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt the penalties for misbehaving and parents should ensure there are no misunderstandings on either side. If children are promised punishments should they commit certain acts and they commit them, there should be no deferment of punishment or negotiation for a lessening of the punishment. When they understand there are parameters, they will be less likely to wind up in correction facilities.
Those parent who do not believe their minor children's criminal behavior is their fault are probably the same parents who have difficulty navigating around serious issues in their own lives. They should understand that their children need order and rules in their young lives, which does not make them, as parents, martinets. If they look around they will see that the very air and universe that sustain all of us are built on order. We know that the sun will rise in the morning, it will set and the moon will light up the night. We rely on that order; that is the way children should rely on their parents. All civilized government and every successful family have some form of sustained order.
I would say to parents, do not short change your minor children by allowing them to believe there are few, if any, repercussions for their rebellious actions. Hold them accountable and not allow them to become part of a system that will not only be less kind, but will also, in all probabilities, ruin the rest of their lives.
Parenthood and being parents of minor children carry with it the awesome, yet cumbersome, responsibility to mold and to shape the lives of their small charges. The earlier and more complete the molding process began, the more perfect the outcome will be.