by Susan Durbin Panker

Created on: April 14, 2009

Are there new rules or just forgotten rules? As we evolve as a society some rules remain constant and one of them is common courtesy. Yet everyday there are examples of this simple act being forgotten: A man texting as he walks out of a clothing store and doesn't hold the door for the woman going in who is pushing a baby carriage; a person trying to merge onto a highway and only receives honking horns instead of cars moving over to let them enter; going to a seminar or restaurant and hearing peoples iphones/blackberries/cell phones ringing their "chosen" tunes and some audaciously answering them. Obviously the list can go on but the point has been made.

Recently on vacation I noticed a family of four sitting together on the top deck of a ferry. The top deck is open and looks out onto a beautiful tranquil view of the sound. They were together on the bench but were miles apart mentally as they used their various cell phones to connect with others more important to them. The two teenage girls were rapidly texting. The Father was speaking on the cell phone and the Mother was just sitting quietly looking out at the water. Is one of the new rules to disconnect? Granted being a teenager is tough for some. Telephone lines were busy 3 hours a night or more with the past generations of teenagers but once you left the house with your parents you had to be with your parents. Being with your parents meant listening and talking with them even if you wanted to be elsewhere. There were no escape hatches into cyberspace. Lessons were learned because you had to face reality.

Parenting is not easy especially when the rules are being taught. What is easy is to let the kids just tune out by playing video games, listening to MP3 players, using the computer or watching DVD's in the SUV. The aggravation and stress of teaching the children rules over and over again until they start getting them is alleviated thus creating a whole new set of rules. What messages are being sent by the parents to these children? Rules are taught by example and repetition. Adults see other people acting a certain way so why shouldn't they be entitled to act that way too? Here are some of the new rules being seen by our society today: it is OK to tune people out; it is OK not to want to deal with a problem; it is OK to talk during meetings when the speaker is talking; it is OK not to worry about dressing appropriately; it is OK just to wear sweat pants every where you go including out to dinner and church;

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