by Amanda Teo

Created on: April 14, 2009   Last Updated: April 16, 2009

Does anybody have a time machine? Because I am looking for one. If not, could you possibly invent one for me?

Lies use to build the foundation of my life. I want to relive so that I can make some changes. Or just have a machine that could erase the times that I have made a fool of myself. The lies that I have lived with in my life to cover up the wrong I have done has been hard. Those lies have made me wear a mask that does not label who I truly am.

For me, lying has been a way of escaping reality. It has made me feel better about myself. And soon I realized that it had become a habit. I don't lie as much now as I have been in the past, but God has been showing me daily the mistakes I have done and how I can change.

Proverbs talks a lot about lying and how it can destroy your life. Proverbs 12:17 says, "He who speaks truth tells what is right, but a false witness, deceit." Lying got me nowhere. Although it made me feel good about myself at that moment, I knew I would get stuck further down the road. But I still did it! I felt lying was the only way to go. I had frequently lied to my friends but it had been a pattern to lie to my parents. If I told them the truth, what would they think of me? I found that the root of me lying was to get what I want. It was to make myself sound better, even though deep down inside, my heart was filled with guilt. I didn't care what other people thought of me or what God thought of me. At that time, satisfying myself and making myself look better was my number one goal.

In proverbs 6:16-19, it talks about seven things that the Lord hates. The first few things listed totally struck me. It was what I was doing. The Lord detest, "A lying tongue, a heart that devices wicked schemes, feet that rush into evil and a false witness who pours out lies." What kind of Christian was I? It made me take a good look at myself. Was this the person I wanted to be? Was this the impression I wanted to give people?

Proverbs 12:19 states, "Truthful lips will be established forever, but a lying tongue is only for a moment." I sought to have truthful lips. It sounded so good. Proverbs 12:22, "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal faithfully are His delight." I didn't want to take delight in myself anymore. It didn't bring me joy that lasted forever. I longed to be God's delight. I saw what I was doing. I was bringing shame - Not only to myself, but to my family and especially to God. Proverbs 21:6 says, "The inquisition of treasures by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor, the pursuit of death." It's so true! Lying was ruining my image. One minute it made me feel good, and the next I was filled with guilt and regret. I came to recognize that I had to tell the truth. So I did. I poured my true self out. I confessed.

As a result, it caused me to have a bad reputation. I deserved it. I had to become real to myself. I had to stop putting on a face. It was so difficult in the beginning. But I kept pressing on. Knowing it was the right thing to do. Because in proverbs 11:18, "he who sows righteousness gets a true reward."

It took me a long time to finally earn people's trust. But in the end it was worth it.

Proverbs 19:22, "The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar." I'm so thankful that God opened my eyes. Lying obviously brought me no where and telling the truth is way better! Why tell lies when I can be who God created me to be. Proverbs 31:30 affirms, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who feats the Lord, she shall be praised."

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