by Ana - I'm Learning

Created on: April 13, 2009

Marriage starts with the heart but very soon remains only in the mind. When two adults decide to get married, they visualize a life of togetherness to the point of 'till death do us apart'. They dream of fun filled life with wealth, children and happiness. In their search for El Dorado, they forget the path of thorns that lie ahead.

Love in a marriage is multi-faceted. It does not mean only love or sex between the couple. Love embraces all individuals who come in touch with the couples in the marriage. Starting with immediate family members like parents, siblings, children and down to friends from both sides. Remember, marriage requires a lot of things to make it a success.

Most couples forget that marriage is not a bed of roses. In fact life itself is not easy. Naturally, they have go from trials and tribulations in their search for the perfect marriage. Soon after marriage couples start with an effort to have a perfect life. They put things like respect, trust, love, sex, admiration, time and everything else that is required to make the marriage work. During this period couples try to be what they are not. But human nature is such that they cannot keep this going for long. Very soon shoulders begin to droop and couples go back to their old self.

By the time this period drifts in, a couple of years would have passed. Couples start taking each other for granted, they no longer make efforts to woo each other, sex would have become mechanical if not given a quiet pass. This is the beginning of the love-less marriage. The other important factor by this time would be children. Responsible parents realize that they woe it to their children to give them a normal family life. Children now take precedence over individuals in the marriage.

Not all couples want to give priority to children. Individuals want to pursue their own lives and don't hesitate to put efforts to get what they want. If they realize that marriage is turning out to be a loveless affair or a charade then they do not hesitate to walk out of marriage. In such a scenario, it might be good for couples but it is not for children. But then love in a marriage is not just about love between the couple. It also means love for their children and of each other as well as of friends and family.

It is important for couples to remember that love between the two may not last a life time. But while it lasts, they should make efforts to invest time and effort to grow the relationship. If friends can last a life time why can't couples? The answer is expectations. Most people expect too many things out of marriage which make it practically impossible to keep up to the expectations. To make marriage successful it requires not just love but also respect, time, understanding, compassion, effort, friendship. So when love flies out it the couple should have mutual respect and understanding to take the marriage forward and prevent it from being another disaster.

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