by Claysie

Created on: January 29, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

There are many reasons why your child may be throwing a tantrum. Tired, hungry, frustrated, confused, or the just plain old didn't get what they wanted. Here are some tips to handling tantrums.

1. Nip it in the bud. Be there to stop it before it even starts. This can be taken two way. One way is referring to their age. First signs of an resistance be able to handle it. If your child is older and has already gotten away with tantrums and you are just giving in because it is easier, STOP DOING THAT RIGHT NOW! It is better do the work and take care of the situation while they are young then to have a 16 year old throwing a tantrum. Can you picture that? It happens.

2. TIMEOUT! This is what I used on my two. The younger they are the more simple you need to keep it but other than that. And again, the earlier you start this type of management the better the results. When you are starting this never give them the option of behave or time out, just go to time out. The first time you may need to simply explain that the are to sit or stand in a designated spot for a amount of time and think about what they did wrong. Place them there. Some may stay and take the timeout fine, others are going to fight and flight! But see it through don't let them break you. It will get easier with time.

*timeout tip*Facing the corner with their head touching the corner is real good because they can't see what's going on and there is less chance of fight and flight.

Once they have did their time. Depending on age you can ask them if they know what they did wrong or explain to them simply what they did wrong. When all is said and done hug them and let them know you still love them, you just did not like what they did.

*timeout tip*Only the person who puts the child in timeout takes the child out of time out. This helps keep things clear and there is less chance of them begging the other parent to let them out.

3. Always stay calm. If you get all excited or upset it will intensify the tantrum.

4. Never distract them with something else. That will create a very bad habit of "If I throw a fit, they will give me something I might like." Don't feed the bad behavior. Reward them for being good when they are good before a tantrum. Rewards can be very simple and inexpensive and HEALTHY (build their confidence), a "Thank you for being so good can I have a hug." can go a long ways. Do not reward with toys, food, candy, or drinks. Money maybe ok if you work resposiblities like chores in, and you can teach them how to manage and spend money and count and so on.

5. Be an example. Most of what children do they have learned or have been taught that it is ok to do.

6. Be the boss (parent). There will be time to be there friend in the future. The way I look at it is "If something was to happen to me tomarrow how would my children be?" Would they be kind, consiterate, hard working, independent, loving people? Or Would they be spoiled, means, nasty, selfish, little beasts?

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