by Naomi Kenny

Created on: April 12, 2009

The advancement of medical science in the area of life support has created a debate over who has the final say over our bodies. Medicine has provided us with many more options in care that can be provided for the dying, but it doesn't have all the answers. In many ways it was easier before we had so many options, nature took its course. True some died who might have lived, but perhaps it was their time to die. Second guessing death is a favorite pastime in our modern world.

The debate of using of life support against the wishes of the patient to meet the family's needs is truly a selfish one. I spent over 30 years in nursing and have seen the death of young and old. Death is a natural part of life and should be respected. Yes it hurts to lose a loved one, but no one stays with us forever. It is far better to allow a dignified death. The death of a swiveled twisted body or a person in pain or one we no longer recognize isn't fair to the dying or the loved ones.

Death can come unexpectedly or with prior notice, but death comes to all of us. The best way to approach this part of nature is to talk with our loved ones ahead of time. Share how you feel about death and what types of medical intervention you would want taken if you were dying. Choose an advocate to speak for you if you are unable to state your wishes. Put their role and your decisions in writing. Keep a copy with you, at your physician's office, if you have a lawyer keep a copy there and keep a copy with your important papers. Your advocate doesn't have to be a family member, but be sure to make their position legal by having the form notarized. You can at any time change the decisions you have made, verbally or in writing. There are many websites that can help you document your choices. Look for Durable Medical Power of Attorneys, Living Wills, and Directives to Physicians that are specific to your state. The wording can be differ by state.

Making, documenting, and discussing your decisions with loved ones eases the burdens on them. Having to make decisions about life support under duress is very difficult. Give yourself and your loved ones a gift by making the decisions ahead of time and help them understand why they should follow your requests.

There should never be the debate over family's desires or the patient's request about dying and life support. Individual rights and self respect should always take precedence over the selfish desire to keep the dying here when they are ready to go.

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