by Anna Parks

Created on: January 29, 2007   Last Updated: April 14, 2007

How to Approach Difficult Negotiators

When negotiating for business, one must expect to encounter some "difficult" negotiators and it is important to prepare for such a situation. A partner, client, or other business contact may become belligerent, inflexible, or even downright rude. With the following tips, you can enter into negotiations with confidence that things won't turn ugly if your counterpart becomes difficult.

1. Work from goals, not positions!

The most important thing to remember is to work from common goals, not positions. When parties negotiate based on positions, any compromise feels like loss because someone loses ground on their specific position (i.e. lowering price). If you can shift the emphasis to what each party really wants rather than what their stance is, it allows room for flexibility to occur without creating a winner/loser atmosphere, hopefully allowing the difficult negotiator to back down without losing face.

EXAMPLE: The scope of the project has changed and you need to negotiate more money from a client. The client becomes hostile, claiming that they are paying what was quoted and not a penny more. If you can shift the discussion to meeting the needs of the client for this specific project (driving more business to their website, boosting customer loyalty, etc.) it moves the issue away from positions (set dollar amounts) and into common goals and needs.

2. Are you contributing to or exacerbating the problem?

Take a look at your own behavior for a moment. Have you interrupted? Have you belittled or behaved dismissively toward their input, even inadvertently? If the other party has been offended or embarrassed in some way they may be behaving reactively, putting additional strain into the situation that needn't prevent a solution from being reached. If you think your behavior may be a contributing factor, apologize. If you interrupted rudely, don't do it again.

3. Address the process directly.

If the difficult negotiator's behavior is preventing any progress from being made, your most effective tactic may be to confront the aggressor by explaining that their approach is having a negative impact on the negotiation itself, and on you. Suggest that maintaining an amicable atmosphere and listening openly to each other will probably lead to a far better resolution for both of you. If they realize they are not going to achieve any of their objectives by alienating you, they may change their tune. Just make sure you aren't acting out of emotion.

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