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personal story that will illustrate what I am talking about. The birth of our first child, April, was a great joy. She was the perfect child. I know; your child is perfect too. As a newborn infant she slept through the night after a very short while. We were blessed. As she got to be a few months old, I would come home from work and play with her. It seemed as time went on she stayed up later and later. We would put her down for the night and then she would start to cry. I would go in and pick her up and walk around the house with her to settle her down. Some nights she would not fall asleep until it was time for my bedtime too. I would go to bed and realize I had no time to spend with my wife. Our perfect child was coming between my wife and me. I thought there had to be a better way.

I discussed this situation with a child psychologist friend of mine. His suggestions were simple yet challenging. He told us to decide what a proper bedtime was, put her down for the night, shut the door and let her cry. He said she might cry for an hour but that will not harm her. He told us if we went into the room and picked her up we would be rewarding her for crying. If we did that we would have to start all over again.

My wife and I decided we needed to get this under control so we agreed to do what he suggested. We decided eight o'clock was a good bedtime for her (and us) so we put her down by eight. After a few moments she began to cry. My wife and I looked at each other and waited for the crying to stop. After what seemed like a long time (5 minutes) my wife made a move to go into her room. I had to physically block the doorway so my wife couldn't go in. After about an hour, my daughter stopped crying and slept through the night. The next day we did the same thing and again I had to block the door so my wife could not go in to pick up her up when she cried. This time it only lasted a half hour. We continued this each night and by the end of the week my daughter got the message; eight o'clock was bedtime and crying was not going to change that.

We have used the same routine with all three of our children and never had an issue when it came to bedtime. We made a decision and were consistent in carrying out that discipline. The key here is; be consistent; don't send mixed messages, and you must out last your child. You must win this battle so you don't have to fight a war the rest of their lives. If you are consistent you will have a happy child, a quiet home, and strong relationship with your spouse. Try it for yourself and get a good night's rest.

Learn more about this author, Tom Geoffroy.
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