by Krystle Hernandez

Created on: April 11, 2009   Last Updated: April 25, 2009

Time-outs are punishments that require parents to physically remove a child from a situation and isolate him or her in an area where there is no external stimulation. "Time-outs" can be a very effective form of punishment for children from 18 months to 12 years old. But, how should parents use time-outs in order to guarantee that the punishments work effectively?

Remove stimulation.

The purpose of a "time out" is to allow a child time to think about his or her inappropriate actions. In an effort to ensure that your child focuses on rectifying his or her behavior rather than attempting to gain control of the situation or manipulate his/her way out of the punishment, it is crucial that you isolate the child and remove all external stimulation. "Time out" means no talking, no TV, no radio, no playing, no NOTHING. Remember that your child will likely try to talk to you throughout the time-out in an effort to get your attention. Paying attention to them is only rewarding them rather than punishing them. Children who desperately seek their parents' attention may then misbehave in an effort to get this attention.

Stick to a time frame.

When using a "time out" as a form of punishment, it is important that parents stick to the time frame that they initially gave the child. If your child tries to make excuses, or if he or she continues to misbehave, let him or her know that with each demerit he/she will have to start the "time out" time from the beginning. Soon enough, your child will learn that he or she must behave during a time out and outside of time out periods in an effort to avoid the punishment. Keep in mind that if time-outs are too short or last too long, they may be counterproductive. Typically, it is best if you use your child's age as a guide. For example, if your child is four, use four minutes of time out.

Be persistant.

Putting your child in "time out" and enforcing it may be challenging and inconvenient in some situations. However, it is important that parents remain persistent in their efforts to ensure that children stay in time-out for the predetermined duration of time. One of the most crucial elements in effective discipline is consistency. In order to shape your child's behavior, your child needs to be 100 percent certain of what the consequences of his or her actions will be. If he or she knows that "time out" really means time out, then he or she is less likely to misbehave in an effort to avoid this punishment.

Don't feel guilty.

Children will often attempt to push their boundaries and manipulate situations in order to get what they want. When "time-outs" are first introduced as a punishment, a child may attempt to resist by coming up with a number of excuses to get out of the time-out, like needing to go to the bathroom. Many children will even try to manipulate the situation by making their parents feel guilty about isolating them. Do not succumb to guilt. Time outs are a reasonable and effective punishment for children who need to learn how to behave themselves and how to act appropriately. Succumbing to guilt will just reinforce your child's belief that he or she can manipulate you. Taking time out will allow your child to think about his or her actions and can allow them to gain some perspective.

In summary, "time out" is a good form of punishment for certain children, particularly if parents ensure that they are using time-outs effectively. Just keep in mind that "time outs" generally are effective for children from the ages of 18 months to twelve years. Beyond the age of thirteen, parents will be required to turn to other disciplinary strategies to help shape their children's behavior.

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