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If you're interested in BDSM and you aren't sure where to find others who are also interested, then let me give you a few ideas of where to find others. It's often hard for people who are just entering the lifestyle to know where to find others. It may be that they are afraid of asking others because of the stigma involved or it could be that they aren't ready to find people interested in the lifestyle locally. So what is one to do? They seek out the Internet.

As someone who has been in the BDSM lifestyle for many years, especially the on-line community, I know how hard it can be to find like-minded people. So let me give you some advice up front before you venture into any sort of exploration on the Internet. There are people who will take advantage of your naivety, so learn as much as you can before you adventure into chats and social networking. Don't dive in blind, the predators will tear you apart quickly if they can.

With that said, I will now give you my favorite social networking and chat sites that are lifestyle oriented, in no particular order.

FetLife.com is a social networking site that is geared toward fetishes. From their web site, "Similar to Facebook and mySpace but run by sexual deviants like you and me. We think it is more fun that way. Don't you?" It's a great resource and much like Facebook and mySpace, Fet-Life is completely free for your use. You can find people in your area, you can find answers to just about any question you could possibly have, and you can join groups that are geared towards your specific interests. Fet-Life is still a fairly new social network, but it's growing by leaps and bounds daily and you can always find new groups to join there.

Bondage.com is another social network, sort of. Bondage has been around longer than social networking, frankly, so it could be the original social network. What it is, however, is a group of forums, profiles, blogs and chats specifically for those who are interested in the BDSM lifestyle. This is where I first gained a lot of interest in the lifestyle myself, and I've been around for many years. They are not completely free, but you can do quite a bit with a free account, such as chat in their IRC chat rooms, write profiles and blogs. What you can not do, however, is video and audio chat, nor can you use their dating features. It's quite popular, quite busy and can be quite overwhelming as well. Just be aware, you do not have to pay to access the main features, they are just bonus features.

Last, but not least, there is Collarme.com. Collarme is mainly a lifestyle dating site. While it appears to not really have much on the social front, other than having some chat rooms and forums for people to use, it is a social network, as you can do all the same things you can on places like Myspace and Fetlife. The majority of people go there to send messages one on one to people who interest them. The site is free, it's easy to navigate as well, and has one thing that I really like. You can see the last time a person logged on. Why is that important? There's nothing worse than finding someone that you'd like to contact, only to not have them respond because they no longer access the site.

Now that you know where to find like-minded people, don't make a fool of yourself and be rude to those you find.

Learn more about this author, Margaret Kerr.
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