by Pamela Wilkinson

Created on: April 11, 2009

A long lasting marriage is not impossible. There are two people in this relationship who will be bringing many personality characteristics that will be both positive and negative. These should be uncovered in the dating process as much as possible before taking the big step. Rushing into marriage is a big mistake alot of people make. Dating an individual for a while helps filter through some of these obstacles and gives you an idea how easily or how difficult it will be to adjust once you become one. You never really know a person until you live with them is a line we all hear frequently. There is alot of truth in that statement but spending alot of time with an individual will help to unearth some things that will be very important to you in the future.

Putting the other person first is a big requirement. It is hard for individuals to do that and the strife that comes with it is just unbearable. Give and take in a marriage is very important and when you do that you are releasing your wants for the other person to be happy. This is not to say you give up everything, but there is a happy medium you can attain and still be an individual.

Communication is a top priority . Not talking things through is a destructive mode that does not create harmony. None of us are mind readers and the sooner you realize that the better off your relationship will be. By communicating about everything, money, children or lack of, sex, career changes, etc. each person is aware of where the other person is coming from. When there are disagreements, and there will be, state your point in a level tone of voice. Avoid argumentative tones as you will move quickly away from the subject and gain nothing.

Show your love and appreciation for each other and do it often. Saying I love you is important but showing it is even more so. You married this man or woman for specific traits and those traits will always be there, even years down the road. Don't forget that. Little things mean alot and especially to your mate, who at some point will feel taken for granted. You can lift this person up by complimenting them or doing a chore that they normally do without them asking. The results you will get will put a smile on both your faces.

Marriage takes alot of work and is something you work on everyday you are together. It is not a relationship that will take care of itself. You will go through many stages during your lifetime, but if you follow these simple rules it will be the most rewarding relationship you will ever have.

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