by Trenna Sue Hiler

Created on: April 11, 2009   Last Updated: May 13, 2012

Marriage is not easy. It is not always happy. It is not always sad. Stand at the edge of the ocean and watch the waves come and go with a natural flow. If there is comfort in this motion, marriage should be simple and move through the flow.

Marriage is a vibrant and ever changing relationship. Couples travel from infatuation to deep unconditional love and everything inbetween several times over. It is suppose to be this way. Unless these changes take place the relationship become stagnant.

A strong marriage is on that can ride the waves and remain committed. This does not mean that they always agree. It does not even mean they always like each other. It means that they are committed to loving each other and working it out.

According to Rita Demaire, PhD and author, there are seven stages of marriage. This information could certainly help couples understand the natural ebb and flow of marriage. The seven stages are passion, realization, rebellion, cooperation, reunion, explosion, and completion.

By identifying some traits of each stage of marriage a couple may have a better perspective of what is a normal part of the process.

Passion is the stage where the two of you seem to be focussed on eachother. It is all about the intimacy and experience of being a true and exciting bond.

The realization stage is when you are beginning to see each other without the rose colored glasses. You are recognizing strengths and weaknesses. You are finding that it is work to talk with each other and communicate.

Cooperation stage is about getting through life organized enough to hold it together. It is more about jobs, kids, paying bills and the relationship takes on more of a business partnership. It is normal.

The reunion stage happens anytime you wake up and say wait, let’s remember what brought us together in the first place and spend some time as a couple again. Let’s to something proactive to make our time together better.

Oh the stage that happens often, the explosion stage. These are simply those out of control times. You lost your job. The kids are in trouble at school. She is talking like she is running away. The explosions of normal family and couple life that everyone experiences. This stage appears often and can trigger any of the other stages.

Completion stage sounds so much like the marriage is done, perfect and all is well. Again this happens over and over again in a marriage and then other stages may reappear as well.

*Physical changes
There is a reason that most

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