by Wonda Waide

Created on: April 11, 2009   Last Updated: April 13, 2009

Parents are to blame for their children's actions bad or good. When there are older siblings in the house with younger children, they are not to blame just an influence. When a child is on the playground and calling another child a name it is not the child's fault because they are little eyes, ears and little copy cats of our actions.

A school administrator told me that I should be very proud of myself for having such a well-mannered child. She deals with children of all ages all day long and my son is one she can say has never in anyway been disrespectful to another child or adult. It made me feel good of course. The fact is we are raising our children and if they act out in a bad way we immediately want to put blame on them. I always stop and think where did he or she get that from if it was a saying or and action. We are the people to look up to until they get smart enough to figure out we mess up just as much as they do if even more. We act and say things without thinking and without thought, we are being recorded to a Childs mind for them to use later. Of course, never where we would like to have seen or heard those things but they do not understand most things yet.

It's impressive the way they put the same thing we may have said or done and it fits. When a kid is acting out in some way it usually is their family life, other children, school whatever the reasoning maybe. We as parents must take the blame, find out why, and try to fix it. Most will punish their children without thinking twice where or why they are doing the things, they do. Kids can be an open book it takes a good parent to see or notice. Therefore, the next time your child acts badly ask yourself why they did this. Was it something I did or said to them or someone else? Search the child so that it never happens again. However, make sure you blame yourself first. Now this does not pertain to children who have been abused by someone and acting out. I am talking on the lines of regular situations.

For example, my son in kindergarten got a write up for acting out and it was the kids at school. Anytime my son hangs out with the same child a lot at school or out he starts to pick up there bad habits. I have made sure to notice signs now because when he is hanging out with all kinds he has no time to pick up bad habits. I believe if your child is out being destructive, disrespectful then you as a parent need to take control of it and make sure they do not do it again. Children have learning process as we as adults do we mess up we never do again. If they repeat then parents did not take care of the situation. We cannot as parents wait until they are teenagers and want to be parents. Parenting starts the day they are born. So for all the parents not standing up and being a parent let it go and when you are in court tell the judge your there because you left your child do as they wanted and you should take the blame.

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