by Deborah Teazis

Created on: April 11, 2009

OLIVIA's Story

I was introduced to Olivia at her home in Melbourne Australia in 1998. I was to be her Palliative Care Support Person. Livvy' as everyone called her was a beautiful young woman with dark eyes and long wavy hair that she kept in a plait hanging down her back.

Olivia had Bone Cancer, it had spread to her Jaw and Mouth, resulting in the partial removal of her tongue and Jaw. She had been ill since she was a young child and had spent many months in and out of hospital, suffering round after round of Chemotherapy.

Olivia was always trying to stay positive, she hated her mother getting upset and hid much of the anguish she must have been feeling. But the pain she was carrying showed in her face no matter how much she tried to hide it.

After a couple of visits we soon built a bond over ice cream and movies on TV. Quite quickly a level of trust was forged, I could not help but admire the quiet strength and dignity of this 14 year old girl with the wonderful smile.

Livvy's mum Cathy would sometimes go out during my stays, one of the rare times she would leave the house for fear of something happening and she would not be there for her. It was also the only time that she had to herself, to be alone with her thoughts and catch up with a friend for coffee.

Livvy's mum and I had a pact, that if Livvy became ill while she was out, then I would call her straight away and she would return. (I later learned that Cathy never went farther than a couple of minutes drive away, just in case)

During my visits, Livvy and I would talk for hours, usually about what she missed, her school friends, days out at the beach, going to the movies, things we take for granted and don't give much thought to.

Sometimes she would have a bit of a cry, although I think it was out of sheer frustration and not self pity. She asked many questions, "Where do we go when we die?" "Is there a heaven?" "Will there be anything on the other side?" so many questions and I had so few answers to give her, all I could promise her was that it would all be ok and not to be afraid.

Olivia loved meditation and crystals, on a visit to Lygon Street in Carlton, I found a Celtic crystal cross and bought it for her, she loved it and wore it quite often. I wished I could do more for her mother though who was living in a state of panic and fear.

During one of our many talks, she told me that she was not overly religious and asked did that mean no Heaven for her, I told her that what ever she believed in was good enough,

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