by Janet Farricelli CPDT-KA

Created on: April 11, 2009

Leaving your family, mom and dad, brothers and sisters behind and moving into a new home with a new spouse may cause a sense of loneliness at times. This can be particularly felt when you discover you are married with a workaholic. Once the honey moon is over, your new home may feel suddenly silent and vacant as you glance at the cold meal left on the dinner table after your husband announced he was late for work.

You may find yourself therefore, taking it personally and asking yourself why your hubby prefers to spend those extra hours at work rather than home with you. It really makes a difference knowing if your husband has always been a hard worker all his life or if he has just recently changed.

In the first scenario, you probably really knew what you were into. These men are hard workers by choice, they have been probably raised by parents that focused on productivity and high expectancies. Your husband has probably made work as a way of life, perhaps a way to prove himself that he is worthy and able to accomplish many things.

These men need some understanding. They have strived all their lives to be productive and now that they are married they may feel like they need to do everything possible to allow their family to live a decent life with the money they bring home. They often are highly responsible beings that look forward to having their kids being able to go to college and having a wife that can easily live at home without the need to work.

Yet, if this is the case, as a wife you have the right to tell him about your feelings. You must be able to communicate to him some of your discomfort. This does not have to traslate into a discussion or a fight, rather you can turn this is into a way to communicate your love.

Sitting at the table, upon eating a meal, you can look your husband in the eyes and tell him how much you miss him. Simply tell him you love him a lot and that you terribly miss him. Ask him if he can take a week off and spend more quality time together. Let him know that while you appreciate all the money he brings home, you believe that nothing is more important than spending some time together as a family. Most husbands will appreciate hearing this, and actually many may feel good about this as it takes away some of the pressure they feel when wanting to be over productive.

If your husband instead has just recently started working a lot, question yourself if there is something that is not going well in the relationship, that makes him want

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