by Kevan Simpson

Created on: April 11, 2009   Last Updated: April 13, 2009

One of the most daunting task to succeed at is being the individual who has to replace the footsteps of a parent in the eyes of a child. I grew up with a single mother who tried to replace my deceased father with three stepfathers and it just was never the same. All three were abusive to her and never established a solid relationship with me or my sisters, so we grew to resent these men. Getting the respect of a child is earned, marrying into the family doesn't cover all bases. Being a stepparent is hard enough, considering that you are looked at as an outsider from the start.

I have played the role as daddy to a couple ex's young children and loved them as if they were my own. Took them to school and worked on homework with them, went out to the parks and movies, basically doing what a father would do. When everything was going good they acknowledged me as a daddy, but when they didn't get there way they screamed out for their real daddy who had abandoned them. It hurt me but I could understand and relate to not having my actual father around so I tried to explain to them that I cant replace their father, but that I can try anything in my power to take care of them while I have the opportunity. To this day they still call me and tell me how much of an impact on their life I had, which makes everything that I went thru worth it to me.

To be a successful stepparent you must respect and understand the feelings of a child who does not have the luxury of both biological parents in the same household. Most t.v. programs will show children the beauty of both parents together and there for the family, which unfortunately is not the case in most homes now-a-day's. Most children are reluctant to open up and put there heart and trust into a stepparent for the fear of disappointment and heartbreak. Some love and miss there biological parents being together so much that their just not willing to except the thought of that not happening. Be sensitive to their feelings and give them time to adjust to the new and unexpected changes in their life, they just might give you a chance after all.

Life is full of trials and tribulations, being a stepparent is no exception. Not many can handle the stresses of this position, but those who persevere through the hardships and show that they are a deserving stepparent will, in time, definitely receive the credit for their efforts. You don't have to be a biological parent to be a good or even great parent to a well deserving young child.

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