by Patricia Watson

Created on: April 10, 2009   Last Updated: August 07, 2009

A listener, who truly hears, is a gem. They will not only hear what you are saying, they will understand what you mean. There is nothing more frustrating than expending your energy on a long saga, only to find your audience distracted.

If your best friend is pouring her heart out to you, it is not prudent to be thinking about what to cook for dinner. Staying focused on what she is saying, will take some practice. It is only human nature for our minds to wander from time to time.

*How to become a good listener*

1) Stay focused on the conversation. Don't let your mind wander away from the person you are talking with. Really pay attention to what they have to say.

2) Be a caring person. Let the person who is talking know that what they are saying really matters to you. Don't just pretend. You might be surprised at some of the things you will learn about yourself, as you listen to others.

3) Don't rush through your conversations. Take the time to really listen and contribute when you are in conversation with others.

4) Don't rush into judgment! Try not to offer advice in a critical manner. Sometimes it is easy to fall into the trap of judging the other person. Let them talk, and even if you disagree with them, they have a right to speak. There are ways to help someone without condemning them.

Unfortunately, most people are not good listeners. They are either too busy, or just indifferent to the needs of others. If we would just take the time to really enjoy our friendships, the world would be a nicer place.

In order to be a good listener, you will have to be patient to speak. Never interrupt or try and inject yourself into the conversation. The person who has chosen to vent to you, needs to get things out in the open. If you constantly interrupt them, they may shut down. Some things are hard enough to talk about and we need to concentrate on every word.

Always be ready to share your thoughts, after the other person has had their say. If they ask for your advice, then offer some. If they don't need any help, just listening to them has helped them enough.

Listening and hearing are such a fine qualities in our personalities. We should all work at refining our skill with our ears. Let the words of others enter through our mind and pass through our hearts. When we really care about the other person, it is not a hardship to let them have their say.

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