by Anne Brodgesell

Created on: April 10, 2009

If kissing up to your boss is the only way to get ahead then there is something seriously wrong with your boss. A boss, whether male or female, who needs their employees to be sycophants, is probably never going to let them get ahead anyway. Why would they promote the very people who feed their egos when the replacement employee might have a sense of self-worth and refuse to play the game?

A good boss deserves and inspires respect, is a mentor and a teacher and wants their employees to do their jobs well as it reflects back on them. In order to bring out the best in his/her employees, they will critique their employee's work but also give praise when praise is due.

The kind of boss that responds only to those who "kiss up" to them has little self respect and is often a bully. If the focus is not on them they feel slighted and unimportant. The fact that they reward those employees who fawn over them with faux promotions and special treatment plays havoc with office morale. When the other employees, those who do their jobs well but do not "suck up" to the boss see how well the "kiss ups" do, it causes friction and dissention throughout the office.

In a situation where a boss is rewarding those who "suck up" and penalizing those who don't you have to wonder why their superiors aren't picking up on the situation. Kissing up seems to be more prevalent in branch or satellite offices where access to head office or to the boss's boss is difficult. If an employee wishes to complain about unfair treatment, finding a way to do it confidentially can be a real problem. The boss's boss that resides in head office either fails to see the low morale in the office or turns a blind eye either because they don't want to have to address the issue or they are part of the problem.

Employees who "kiss up" to the boss generally have poor self-esteem. They are willing to give the boss what they need in order to be the favorite. Once they are the favorite they are able to come and go as they please, choose the projects they want to work on and willingly participate in humiliating co-workers. They scheme to get what they want and are totally oblivious or unconcerned about the harm they do to others.

You will probably spend at least one third of your life working. Five days a week you spend the majority of your waking hours at the office. If your boss is a tyrant and your co-workers sycophants, your life will be miserable and that will carry over into your personal life and affect your health. If "kissing up" is the only way to get ahead in your job, you need to find a different job!

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