by Diamondd

Created on: April 10, 2009

Making it to the 2nd date with a man.

First of all, there is no great science to dating. It's more a matter of common sense and not trying to be someone you aren't. As women, we are all aware that men tend to be more visually stimulated than we are, but even if you are not a great beauty, there are things you can do. Dress nicely in flattering clothes. If you don't know what those are, ask a friend. Take someone shopping with you to pick out an outfit that really compliments your coloring and figure. If he likes what he sees, he will be back.

Secondly, make conversation, but don't overdo it. Some people get nervous and talk too much, and some people just talk too much as a course of habit. Tame your compunction to talk. Relax and let the conversation flow naturally. He doesn't really want to hear about all of your past relationships either, and you shouldn't ask about his. However, you should definitely ask him questions about himself. Men like to feel like they are the center of attention, so give him the attention he craves. Most men have a lot of pride in what they do for a living, so ask him about his job, that is always a great conversation starter, but don't act like you are a gold digger either. When you talk about yourself, discuss your hobbies and your job, if you have one. What kinds of places you like to go and what you like to do. This can be great for getting to know each other's likes and dislikes. I would also caution about giving away too much on the first date, leave him wanting more. If he asks you a person question, you can always say something like..." I'll answer that one at another time..." with a secretive smile.

Making him laugh is always a great way to get his attention and keep it. If you know a good joke that is not too risque or have an amusing anecdote, go ahead and share it. If you just have a great sense of humor altogether and can make funny observations without being insulting, by all means, go ahead and do so. He is probably stressing as much as you are on that first date, and if you can be the one to lighten up the atmosphere, he will be very appreciative.

Lastly, if he is taking you out to dinner, EAT. You will make him nervous if you get a small salad and then pick at it like a bird. What are you trying to prove anyway? If you eat, he will not only be more relaxed, but will also see that you are a normal natural person who enjoys life and not someone who is trying to be as skinny as a supermodel. If he enjoys going to restaurants on a regular basis, and you don't look like you want to eat anything, that is going to be a strike against you. On the other hand, don't order one of everything on the menu and then pig out like you haven't eaten in days. Moderation is the key.

In Summary, be yourself, because at some point in the relationship, if it gets that far, you are going to have to be yourself anyway. You don't want the man of your dreams to one day realize that he doesn't know you at all.

Learn more about this author, Diamondd.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.