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will show the continuity of parental love, and will diminish uncertainties and fears about new living arrangements.

All discussions regarding the divorce and the new living arrangements should be censored in relation to the child's age, maturity, and temperament. Most importantly, they need to know that whatever happened between mom and dad was not their fault. Teens especially feel at fault for the divorce, even after you have told them they are not to blame.

If you are feeling intense anger, fear, grief or shame, find someone to help you work through those feelings. By processing your emotions through journaling or talking with supportive people, you will be modeling ways for your teen to better cope with their own strong emotions. Angry outbursts or high anxiety levels that continue or become more common may be signs they that need additional help to cope with their feelings. Often they feel more at ease discussing these issues with a favored relative, friend of teacher. Encourage them to express their feelings in whichever outlet works best for them.

If all else fails, seek the services of a trained professional. This in no way indicates any weakness or lack of support on your part. It takes a strong person to ignore the stigma of mental health issues and reach out for support. Perhaps individual or family counseling can get you well on your way to being a happy, healthy family unit despite the divorce. This is the type of family relationship they deserve to have, whether in a two parent or a single parent family.

Learn more about this author, Melinda Barr.
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