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Teenagers feel just as much stress and confusion regarding divorce as adults do. They usually suffer from feeling of sadness, frustration, and anger. Given the right support, your teen will be able to express their feelings, grieve their loss, and immerge from this unsettling experience a stronger, more resilient person.

More than anything else, children need to feel protected and loved. It is your job as a parent to reassure them and show them that they can continue to count on you for love and support. Ideally, it is best if this support can come from both parents individually, although this if frequently not the case.

Beyond assurance of your love and support, verbally address the reasons for their worry, fear, sadness, or anger. Encourage them to share their feelings, and really listen to what they have to say. Read between the lines and make effort to understand what they are saying, or trying to say to you. It is normal for children, especially teens, to have difficulty articulating their feelings, so you will need to be patient and supportive through the process.

Teens are often reluctant to verbalize their feelings for fear of hurting one or the other parent. Let them know that whatever they have to say, it is okay. Keep your own emotions out of the way and do not judge or criticize anything they have to say. You cannot initially fix their problems or diminish their sadness, but you can support them as they journey through this experience.

Do not speak poorly of your ex-partner under any circumstances. Avoid using them as a carrier of messages between the two parents. They are not homing pigeons, and they are not your spies. Do not attempt to glean any "dirt" or information about the parent after the child returns from a visit or disconnects from a telephone conversation with the non-custodial parent. It is important to be honest with your teen, but not critical when referring to your ex or details of the divorce. This may require a great deal of diplomacy on your part.

The uncertainty of life after divorce is what is most upsetting to teens. Provide order, stability and as much continuity in everyday life as you can. In addition to emotional reassurance, physical comfort in the form of order and continuity can help ease them through this transitional period. Creating regular routines and consistently communicating what to expect will provide more comfort to your kids then most anything else. Merely setting up or continuing established routines or rituals

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