by Jim Crawford

Created on: April 10, 2009

THE LIGHTER SIDE OF TAXES:

Tax season got you down? You're not alone. Someone once said, "The trouble with being a breadwinner nowadays is that the Government is in for such a big slice."

But don't fret. I'm about to give you some tips that will take the sting out of income taxes. What makes me an expert, you say? Well, I happen to have a long history with the IRS, dating back to when I was six years old. Back then, Johnny Jones was my best friend - until the day he fired an iceball at me, hitting me smack in the eye. Johnny ran a lemonade business, so I got my revenge by reporting him to the IRS for nonpayment of taxes.

Now that I've established my credentials, let's start with the "Alternative Minimum Tax." Rather than pay a whopping sum to the IRS in income taxes, this very cool provision gives you the option of paying whatever small amount you'd like to pay. Isn't that great? You're feeling better already, right?

Then there's the "Earned Income Credit." Admit it: you spend a good deal of your time at work playing computer solitaire, chatting with your mother on the phone, shopping online, running office pools, visiting banned sites, etc. You're being paid for this time, and let's be honest: it's really Unearned
Income. After all, you aren't doing a lick of work. The situation is so bad that the IRS is ready to reward those people (assuming there are some) who actually work when they're at work by giving them this credit, which reduces their taxes. So if by chance there was any time last year when you actually worked when at work, report those hours (or minutes) to the IRS and you'll get an Earned Income Credit.

Now let's talk about gifts. I don't spend much on my wife for Christmas, her birthday, or Valentine's Day.
I tell her I'm saving her from having to report gifts as income. She buys this explanation. This might work with your spouse as well. Also, you'll see on Page 82 of the Form 1040 instructions that you can elect to send a cash gift to the Government to help reduce the national debt. And here I foolishly thought that was what my taxes were doing.

Toward the end of your tax return, the IRS tells you to enter on Line 72 "the amount you overpaid in taxes" during the year. On Line 73 they want to know "the amount of Line 72 you want refunded to you." There has never been a single documented instance in the history of the world when anyone entered less on Line 73 than on Line 72, but they keep asking the question.

The IRS also urges us to encourage our neighbors

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