by Leeann Heffernan

Created on: April 09, 2009   Last Updated: April 10, 2009

The ex-files.

In a new relationship when you are just getting to know that person and start to notice little things about them, you may think to yourself that you want to know everything about them. You meet the parents, hang out with his friends and just when you think everything is perfect, you two run into a face that seems familiar to him. There's an awkward 'hello' and some small talk and when you guys walk away and you ask 'Who was that?' You are going to get an answer that you wish you never got. That's the ex. The person that was once in your shoes. The person who knows him as well as you do, the person who has gotten physical with him before... and before you know it, you want to know her.

It becomes an instant competition. You want to see how she looks again, if she is prettier. You want to get dirt on her. As soon as you find out her name, you ask friends if they know who she is. You instantly want to know why they broke up, what she did wrong. Your guy may think that you want to know this so you can feel sorry for him. You don't want to know it. But the jealousy inside of us can't help it. We act in ways we shouldn't and it makes us all crazy. You may even grab his phone and check to see if she is still in the address book, see if she is in his recent calls, even if you know that she isn't in his life anymore, you still want that extra piece of evidence that she is gone.

Now before you go on any further; put down your magnifying glass and your notepad. Put the laptop aside and stop trying to see her facebook. You're forgetting the important part, he isn't with her anymore. He is with you. He focuses his attention on you. Digging into his past may at the time seem like a good idea, because you want him to tell you he didn't even like her. That's what you want to hear. You don't want him to start bringing her up, especially in intimate moments... even if you are out to eat and he says that him and her have been here before, you want to get up and leave. You hate his ex and you don't even know her. Than you start to think maybe you should get to know her.. to see why she REALLY left him. See, this is why we don't bring up exes. Bringing up exes, believe it or not can cause you, yourself to become an ex.

Now girls, you may love when guys show how much they care for you when they act a little jealous. We all can admit that once and a while we may say things purposely that will make them jealous. Bringing up the ex is one of the BIGGEST things that will make a guy jealous. When you hear them say "okay I don't need to know this, let's change the topic," they actually mean it. Your ex is their worst nightmare. The guy that has kissed you before they did, the guy that has done everything you two have done. I know it sounds fun at the time to bring up your ex, but you will be sorry you ever did

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