by Darke Serenity

Created on: April 09, 2009

Hello, I hope that those who read this article will find some comfort and hopefully encouragement. I do understand the pains of miscarriage, and understand the fears that might be out there in regards to trying again. It's okay to feel like so, try to sort through what goes through your mind and try to dispel any negativity if you can. I won't lie to you, but I would like to advise a warning: this peice might remind you of your experience and sadden you. This is not my intention, it is my greatest hope that through my experiences may bring you ideas and an affirmation to yourself that you decide when things happen and that you can overcome anything.

Most important thing for me to pass on is that in no way was the miscarriage your fault. It's a common misconception and most either think this themselves or their partners think it for them, aloud. I will keep reiterating this until I can do so no more, THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

The concept of pregnancy is one of the most beautiful things in life, I don't refer to developing babies as "fetus" or "zygote" but as I see them: developing babies. So to me, the number of weeks gestation doesn't matter at all, the being living inside a woman does. That is a baby to me. So in that explanation I hope that you have a better understanding of what I write about babies.

I definitely encourage a grieving period, it is rightly necessary. It doesn't matter to me how long you carried your baby, there must be a way to honor its/his/hers development within in you or your loved one. It's hard to go into the hospital one day with all the pains of labor and come a few days later, physically emptied and no baby in hand. I realized after a few months of no emotional backup from my spouse that I had to find a way to let my grief out before it consumed me. I found my own solace and comfort within the March of Dimes. They were the rock for me when I came in the door and asked to be part of their organization, they were also there for me when I experienced my second miscarriage. I have never known such caring, it made my heart jump to know that they didn't pity me.

When it came time to "try again", I was scared, I mean completely terrified. To my spouse it was just sex but to me, it was the possibility that a little person could be created, I didn't want to go through the loss again. To give myself peace of mind, I went on birth control and worked my tail off with full time hours. I wasn't ready to try again for the longest time and eventually

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