by Kayla Turner

Created on: April 07, 2009   Last Updated: April 08, 2009

The title "How to listen to your teen" seems to give one very strong message off that says it all. Listen! In today's world where everything seems to move at a faster pace, most people seem to forget the simplest of answers to their problems. The world is not always so complex. Sometimes remembering when times were simple and family values were more in the forefront of people's lives helps to put things into perspective.

Keeping the lines of communication open with your teen may be difficult at first, but the sooner you start the better. Not always will your teen come to you in their time of need, so be prepared for that. Sometimes just knowing you are there for them when they do actually feel like talking will be enough. Try to start asking questions, and letting them know that you're approachable and interested about what is going on in their life. If you see them coming in the door from school and you say "How's your day?" You'll probably get a one worded answer such as "Fine." Or something like "Okay, I guess." . You should by no means bombard your teen with questions- this is not an interrogation, it is a conversation. You will not only come off as suspicious, but really intrusive. A great start would be to have your teen sit nearby as you cook dinner or straighten up the living room and for you two to exchange what went on in each of your days. Sharing your small experiences throughout your day will come off far more sincere than asking them to divulge every detail about their day without you doing the same. This will make the conversation far more comfortable, and it slowly forms a bond. These little things, like making time for your teen without making it seem so serious will make a big difference in the long run.

Well then the question appears, "What if I try that and I just get a 'fine'?". A huge problem parents have with their teens would be that they seem very unapproachable at first. If your teen doesn't give much of an answer to your question, narrow it down and be more specific. You can change phrases like "How was school?" into "So what did you learn in your English class today? Did you get to review (insert chapter here)?" Making the questions more specific forces your teen to answer with more than just a "Yes." or "No.". Pick a subject in school that your teen excels in. Does your teen live for Science? Think of projects you had to do in High school or college that would interest him or her. Listening to your teen isn't just about making sure they aren't going to turn into a bad kid- it's about bringing you closer and reconnecting.

Last but not least is get involved! Your teen won't be happy with you as a chaperon, but you should definitely make sure your teen knows you support him. Ask questions about his team at school, whether his friends need a ride home from practice. Whatever you do, just be sincere. Someday your teen will need you- and with these minor things in place as the foundation you will have build a beautiful relationship that your teen will feel comfortable enough to come to you for help.

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