by Betty Stone

Created on: April 07, 2009

I am the last person who would ever judge someone for cheating. For I have done it, and do not regret it. Let me explain why.

My husband was an abusive alcoholic and drug user. I was married for 23 years and have a 25 year old son. I was so miserable, for so long with this man. I felt trapped because my parents did not believe in divorce, and my dad intimidated me, as he was also an abuser when I was a child. I married at 21, and my dad really hated my husband for a while. I grew to loathe him as well.

My husband would call me every name in the book when he drank. I walked on eggshells every day and I hated it. I received a lot of male attention from co-workers and even his friends, but cheating never crossed my mind, because I knew it was wrong and I wanted to make my marriage work. But sometimes, another person can open your eyes. As the years went on and my husband got worse and worse with his abuse, as well as his drinking and drugs, I was so depressed that dying seemed like it would be a relief to me. I am serious. Daily, I prayed to God to let me die and take me from this horrible marriage. My dad had melanoma and was dying. My son had dropped out of school in his junior year, and no amount of begging or demanding could change that. He was going to work with his dad and I was angry about that, because I felt that made him want to drop out. He knew he could rely on his dad to get a job.

I lost weight, and sometimes did not even want to get out of bed. Some days, I didn't. I finally managed to pull myself up and get myself together. A very handsome man at the grocery store started to talk to me. Each visit, he would share more about his life and his unhappy marriage and ask me about mine. He suggested that we could make each other happy. I finally stopped going to that store. I knew I was very attracted to this man, and so, I felt I had to stop going there.

After many months, I entered the other grocery store I shopped at, and there stood my admirer! His face lit up with a beautiful smile and he proceeded to tell me how happy he was to see me. It felt great to have someone who was happy to see me, who felt that I was attractive, who paid attention to me. It wasn't long before I began seeing this man. I said I would only go out a few times with him. He was so kind and attentive. He was gentle, sweet, and told me how beautiful I was, and how much I made him feel good. I just could not stop seeing him. He made me feel loved and special. He made me feel alive.

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