by Michelle Lynne Smith

Created on: April 07, 2009   Last Updated: April 08, 2009

The answer to the question of whether big weddings are worth the cost really depends on a couple's financial situation. If there is enough money available, and you have always dreamed of having a big, lavish wedding, then why not? Maybe the families are willing to help, or you have great connections. If either of these are true, then why not have the kind of wedding most brides dream about?

But if you are like most couples, things are not that simple. There are bills to pay, and both of you probably already have existing debts. An average wedding can cost $10,000, and some set couples back as much as $20,000. Add that to monthly rent, school loans, credit cards, and whatever else, and your new life together may not get off to the start that either of you were hoping for. In fact I know a few couples who charged everything for their weddings on credit cards. One couple invited about five hundred people, so you can imagine how much everything cost. Years after their divorces, all three couples are still paying finance charges from their weddings.

Sure, big weddings are nice, but before you make any final decisions about it, take a look at your financial situation. If you're paying for everything in cash, make sure you have enough left over for bills and everyday expenses. If you use credit to pay for everything, write out all of your other monthly expenses and be sure you can pay at least the minimum amount on your cards every month.

If you can accomplish this, then you can have that fabulous wedding you have always wanted. If not, then you should look at scaling back to make it more affordable. Just because you don't invite everyone you've ever met and don't have all the finest French foods doesn't mean it still won't be a perfect day. My parents got married in my aunt and uncles backyard. They invited their families and a few select friends, and had barbecue for dinner, and they have been married for 34 years. Some of the happiest couples I know got married by a Justice of the Peace. A couple that I know go married in a private ceremony then invited everyone over for dinner and showed the wedding on a projection screen.

As a couple, you have to decide together what is more important. My fiancee and I can afford a big wedding if we wanted it, but we decided early on that other things were more important. Instead of paying $20,000 for a ceremony and reception that would last a few hours, we could put a down payment on some land and start building a house. So we're getting married at a small bed and breakfast with a rented tux and a dress I found on Craigslist for $200. There are only a couple people coming, and it's not the wedding I dreamed about as a kid, but neither of us could be happier.

What kind of wedding you want and how much you want to spend on it is a personal decision, and will be different for every couple. But if paying for a big wedding is going to add a lot of stress to your life and make it difficult to pay for other necessities, maybe it's time to realize that it's not worth it.

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