by Bella Writer

Created on: April 07, 2009

When you find out your husband is cheating you go through many emotions. The most aggressive emotion is anger but somehow the anger always turns into some kind of self-blame that in twines into a lonely sad depression. Then after going through these emotions, you somehow have to figure out how to cope. The first step in coping is looking at the situation for what it is. Many times, it is easy to give advice that is wise on these situations to others than to actually to illustrate this advice when you need it yourself. You have to really sit down with your self and figure out through a few questions. The following questions must be asked and answer initially from yourself. Some you can answer initially by yourself others you will need your spouse.

The first questions is do you really want to save your marriage? This has to be look at in a deep and fact base way that fit the situation. Next question is this marriage savable or at least to you? Then you must look at what lead to this deception and betrayal in your marriage? The final question is can you forgive your husband to be able to move on and save your marriage. All this questions has to be looked at openly and honestly from you and answer. Then comes when you have to deal with your spouse. You have to sit down and give him the same questions you answer for him to answer also. You must also let him explain his side of the story no matter how much you may dislike hearing what he has to say. No marriage can be saved if both parties do not want it to be nor can you cope with the cheating if only one party is actually dealing with the situation.

Now what I am about to say some will get mad but it is an honest point that has to be address you have to look at yourself and figure out did you push your mate to someone else. Many people will say that is bull but it is not I am not saying you made your husband cheat because he chose that on his own. However, you do have to look and see were you really the best wife you could be to your husband. Sometimes we as women get so busy and have so much going on that we forget some of the main stuff we need to be doing. After you have considered all this and if you decide, you want to salvage your marriage your husband and you have to sit down and have and sincere talk. The type of talk you must have alone and that may not be able to be completed in one long session. Also if you feel seek help outside of your home I do not recommend through family unless it some one who really has been in this situation before and have worked it out. I personally feel you need to keep the family out of it because sadly there advise sometimes hurt and makes it even harder for you to cope with the situation. Not to mention when a woman go through this she already is embarrassed and emotional. There is life for a couple after a cheating incident. It should be noted coping and marriage survival can get worst before it gets better especially if the person your spouse has cheated with has became emotionally attach. The process for you coping could be even harder. So elevate the situation and as I said before look at it realistic because some time you make it harder for yourself to cope by not accepting the reality of the situation.

Just remember even if your marriage is not savable and if you cannot forget but you must forgive in order for you to find the peace you need to cope with it.

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