by Dorien Forster

Created on: April 06, 2009

Assumptions are very powerful thoughts and can have a big influence on your life.

The movie industry knows this very well and uses assumptions frequently to spice up stories. In juicy love stories they will often introduce a gorgeous woman into the plot which threatens the main character's relationship with his current partner. They will let the audience assume that the hero is having an affair or being disloyal in some way. Then at the last minute it is revealed that the new' woman is the hero's sister. In the meantime the chaos the assumptions have created makes good money at the box office.

A while ago we met a man who was convinced that his mother didn't love him. He had spent most of his life with this assumption, and now had a difficult relationship with her. When we probed into his past he said these thoughts has started after he fell off his bike aged nine.

He had some serious injuries from his fall and was hospitalised. The school rang his mother who had to leave her work to come to see him. Then she left him there and with his child's mind he had taken on the assumption that she left because she was cross about having to leave work and she didn't love him anymore.

For years he had harboured these emotions. So we encouraged him to ask his mother what her version of the incident was.
When he asked her Why did you leave me in the hospital all alone when I was nine?"
She said "The visiting hours, were over."

What assumptions are ruining your life? What assumptions are affecting your relationships with loved ones?

Do you have things going through your head that are running your patterns of behaviour?

Are you really sure that others share the same thoughts that are holding you back from leading a full life?

I know it is hard to face some situations, but believe me it is worth it. Ask the person you have issues with what their version is and you may find out that your assumptions may have another side to them. Once you have discussed them with others and have a better understanding of their version, the assumptions soon disappear.

Most people strive for peace and happiness and will be glad that you "cleaned up" the mess your assumptions have created.

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.-G.K. Chesterton

Most people are trying to find their own way in this world. Things don't always go smoothly and they can get a little lost in what they are doing. Be patient with others and just love them for what they are. They are really doing their best with what they have.

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