by Dr. G. A. Anderson

Created on: April 06, 2009   Last Updated: April 28, 2010

Gender differences in communications between males and females may or may not exist, or may exist but not to the extent previously thought. In research about this subject, the results of a range of studies indicated there were A) many differences, and B) some differences, and C) no differences. And what about from age to age, across the span of a lifetime?

Popular points of view come from researchers and authors of today such as Deborah Tannen and John Gray, well-known for their books on the differences between styles and patterns of communications. Many people are familiar with these names and their work. These pro-difference views are much more popular and publicized in today's culture as a way to explain the breakdown of communications between the genders, especially in the area of relationship problems. But there are those who steadfastly disagree. Tannen, in particular has been refuted in some circles, such as in feminist groups where her work has received serious criticism.

However, further study reveals support for the premise that there are no differences in the basic ways males communicate with other males, females communicate with other females, and the way they communicate with the opposite sex. This view is not as popular because it represents the theory that we each have our individual way of communicating, and is not quite as exciting - nor does it sell books.

One study in support of gender differences between male and female children upholds the pro-difference side of the debate. Because help-seeking is one of the indicators of a gender difference that can be revealed in communications, a study was done (Thompson, 1999). Thompson did an observational study of very young children as they were attempting to put together a very difficult puzzle. The children's mean age was 4 years, 3 months. The girls' self-talk and conversation was much more help-seeking than the boys' self-talk and conversation, who mostly expressed how they planned to master the puzzle. This was an interesting indicator of how children would move forward in life in their attitudes and outcomes.

Regarding the young adult and middle age years, M. Vilolanti, (2000), explores the question of whether men's and women's styles of communications are more similar than different, (relying on studies of face-to-face, interpersonal interactions) and looks for evidence of as many similarities as there are differences between the sexes. Here is the area where interest is piqued, since many

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