by Hope Ajayi

Created on: April 06, 2009

A matter of thought

My first reaction is to say "yes, of course you can!" But upon meditation, I realize this can only work for so long. If you refuse to believe me, be my guest and experiment. Buy your child expensive gifts for a year and see where it gets you. You might get at first maybe smiles and hugs, but eventually you'll end up with an empty pocket and an anticipating child. After a while, kids will get dependent on the gifts. They'll want more and more. You, the parent will start scrambling around for more money to buy sufficient gifts for your now very spoiled son or daughter, hence the creation of a brat (no offense). And in the long wrong, pouring expensive gifts upon a child will do the opposite of what you wished in the first place.

Now of course this doesn't apply to everywhere. Each child is different and unique. Suppose Parent 1 were to buy Susie a new Barbie or some type. If Susie has been brought up in the right manner prior to the gift, she will graciously accept the gift and think nothing more of it. Now if Parent B were to buy Susie an expensive doll and Susie is used to getting her way, she'll constantly open out her hand for more and more. Either way both Childs will love the Parent for only so long until the next time they can't get their way, hence the "I hate you's!" And that's when you realize you've just wasted your money.
If you think about it though, saying that you can win a child's affections through gift-giving is similar to saying you can win everyone's affections through gift-giving, and that is not the case at all. Many people would put down their foot and object strongly to the proposal that they can be bought with gifts. So why try it with a child. Bluntly put, the only way to Childs affections or anyone's affection for that matter is love. No, not I'll love you if you love me, or I'll love you if you do everything I say, just I love you; period. No matter what. If you show that love through actions children (who are actually very receptive) will get the point and love you back despite future arguments or fights.
Nobody (well none that I can think of) lives in a box. We've all seen movies, read books where this question was showed or verbalized in some type of form or manner. So like many unnecessary questions of life we all know the answer without others debating it for us. You can not win a child's affections by buying gifts in no way what so ever. It's never been like that, and it never will. Just do like the rest of the population and bear the insults and hardship until they grow up and see the error of their ways. Like much of parenthood it's only a matter of patience.

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