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"Difficult People Like Me"

Isn't it so very easy to hate
That guy at McDonalds in the drive through
Who orders a custom burger and slows everyone down
That's the kind of guy that irks you.
Well, that's me.

Dear Lord above! That guy, two rows down!
It's the middle of the movie, you jerk!
He's chatting on his cell, unaware as can be!
You can't say that disliking him is hard work!

Well, that's me too.

No, please God, no, not the guy at your table
Carefully going through the itemized bill
Calculating just what he purchased, and his share of the tip
Ain't that just a guy you could kill?
Hmmm. Also me.

You're standing in line at Kohls or Younkers
Christmas Eve, with three kids going mad
Someone's trying to return an item they clearly didn't buy here!
If that guy died tomorrow, you'd be glad.
Yup. Me.

The blabbermouth that always offers advice
Whether he knows much on the subject or not
Or maybe that fellow who's incessantly damn cheerful
Would you feel better if he was shot?
Me again. Hi.

You just can't believe that guy at the stadium kiosk
Buying his gum with a hundred dollar bill
And depending who's winning, he keeps changing teams!
If someone else dug the grave, would you fill?
You guessed it. Me!

That guy who just won't let you overtake
Or disagrees with whatever you say
Is objectionably right or left wing, and vocal
Or asks how you feel, and then just turns away
Me! Bwahahaha! Me!

I am that guy, that difficult person
There are lots of us out there to seethe ya
But the thing about difficult people here is
We really don't like you lot much either.
So deal.

Learn more about this author, Simplicity Lett.
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