by Simplicity Lett

Created on: April 05, 2009

"Count Your Blessings, And Your Arms"

People complain to me it's hard to get
A ride when dirty or unfed
But it's so much harder to hitchhike
When you've only got one head.

I don't hitchhike in the USA
Or Europe, Africa or Asia
Where I've travelled, where I've roamed
I think would likely daze ya.

One evening lying in the fields
I saw in the sky a twinkling light
I idly stuck my old thumb out

And vanished into the night.

I found myself next morning
In the strangest of all bars
I didn't recognize anyone's species
What the heck? I was up on Mars!

When Mars lost its charm I hitched a ride
Up to Miranda, Titan and Ganymede
The six-armed slug that flew the ship
Was the strangest thing, indeed.

Ran into trouble about that time
Damn Venusian elitists and their pride!
I didn't have antenna, horns or wings
So they wouldn't give me a ride.

Eventually got to Mercury
That place is so darned hot
So a pair of furry lizard things
Shot me out to Jupiter's Spot.

If you're ever offered a free ride
Out to Pluto you should just pan it
They've been all depressed and sad
Since they lost their status as a planet.

I was stuck out there for weeks on end
Witnessed the suffering first handed
Until a kindhearted blobby thing with wheels
Showed me Neptune, blue and banded.

We skimmed over old Saturn's rings
Then he dropped me back here on Earth
Where the Men in Black said to "Tell no one"
"Or you'll regret the day of your birth."

So be happy when a driver stops
It's raining; you could just kiss em
I've done it all, I've seen the worst
When I hitchhiked the solar system.

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