by Grace Larson

Created on: April 05, 2009

There was a time in which I naively believed friends were friends. I've become slightly more discerning over the years. It took awhile of trial and error to discover what real friends were, as well as to learn to be a real friend. I had to become aware of what friendship actually meant beyond the playground of childhood or the required association of assigned work groups. In the days of youth, friendships seem to be traded as often as the latest fashion look or the clubs you joined. In the years of adulthood, friendships are frequently formed based on the latest boyfriend or girlfriend, educational studies and career path.

Life has taught me to consider the different types of friendships in order to be a real friend myself before seeking real friendships. How can I ask someone to be a real friend if I am not one myself?

My personal experience defines friendships as follows: An acquaintance is someone whom I cross paths within my daily activities. They are the co-worker or customer who will casually ask about my day or my children. We are being polite and passing conversation with one another while having no real interest in each others life. Acquaintances pass in and out of life as often as the months turn to years.

A friend inquires and interacts with some interest in responses and happenings. Friends have good intentions in how their own actions and words affect each other's life. They will occasionally join me for a drink after work or be invited to go shopping as it is convenient to whatever the schedules may be. It is not necessarily considered a missed opportunity to spend time together or share with one another if one of us declines.

I have found real friends are fewer in number. Real friends are not just there to pass the time. They are the individuals who have a true and sincere interest. I have been blessed with several real friends over the years.

Real friends are there to offer love, an honest opinion and never fail to help me find laughter in all of life's trials. They have held my hand or tucked me in bed when my own legs would not carry me. They danced with me at my wedding and celebrated the happiness in my life. These are the friends who I would not hesitate to speak up for should someone put them down. Together we have sat and listened to each other for hours while trying to figure out whatever issue was forefront in mind. We gather at the local bar and laugh for hours as we discussed any topic which crossed our thoughts. These are the friends my door is open for regardless of the hour.

Real friends are there for you no matter what. They are there to celebrate, grieve, laugh, or vent. They will pick you up when you fall and help you find the pieces to put back together. They respect you for you without judgement that they might choose to do things differently. With my real friends, it is not held against me, I am not forgotten if I do not see them or talk to them every day. I can go days, or sometimes months without connecting due to schedules but we both know we are in each others thoughts. I can call them day or night and they would travel miles to be by my side.

Real friends are the ones who have been and will be there through the good, the bad, and in some cases the downright ugly.

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