by Lynn Redwood

Created on: January 29, 2007   Last Updated: May 03, 2007

What's the point of ever dating again after being dumped? Why make yourself vulnerable to anyone ever, ever again after the one you loved ripped your heart out without a second thought? Let's face it, no one likes to be alone. Most people enjoy companionship, sex, and a good conversation every once in a while. Others may be motivated in their relationships by a desire to start a family. Regardless, you have to throw yourself back in the dating game whether you like it or not. No one wants to die alone and childless.

But before you date again, you must seriously consider the reasons why your previous relationship failed. Perhaps your ex was an inconsiderate, self-centered, egotistical, little man with a serious inferiority complex. If that's the case, thank your lucky stars that you were dumped, gather what's left of your self-esteem, and call that close friend you've had sexual tension with for the past two years. But if your ex was everything you were looking for, including kind, considerate, intelligent, sincere, and hard-working, perhaps you have a few personality issues to deal with before subjecting the next poor fool to your wrath. Without careful consideration (just short of wallowing in self-pity) of the reasons your previous relationship failed, your next relationship is surely destined for Splitsville.

Rather than call your best friend or your mom to engage in yet another rant and rave session about your ex, buy a journal to record your thoughts. A journal will forgive you if you whine, cry, or repeat irrational and emotional thoughts about your ex for the one hundredth time. At this point, most people in your life don't want to hear another bad thing about your ex and they sure as heck aren't interested in hearing anything good about him/her. Let your friends and family know that you are finally moving on by turning that cell phone off for one night. Pick up a pen and rehabilitate yourself by filling a journal's pages with constructive criticisms of yourself, your ex, and your previous life with your ex. It's always a good idea to read and re-read what you have written until you finally realize that your relationship failed for one reason, and one reason only. Your relationship failed because you and Mr. or Ms. Ex were not compatible. You and Mr. or Ms. Ex were not meant to be together for the long haul. If you had married Mr. or Ms. Ex, you (or your Ex) would have been miserable, depressed, and overweight and your children would have been poorly adjusted, socially inept high school drop-outs headed down the path to late-night meth binges and court ordered therapy sessions.

The best part about being dumped is the long overdue, newfound opportunity to meet someone who is really, truly worth your time, energy, tears, and frustration. Just remember that there is someone out there for everyone, no matter what shape, size, or disposition. Learn from your mistakes, open your heart again, and find someone new to love because no one likes to be lonely. Everyone likes to love and be loved!

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