by John Zienkosky

Created on: April 04, 2009

"Mind your manners" was a phrase quite common in the sixties and for good reason. Good manners ingratiate oneself to others more rapidly than anything else. To make the point only needs a few examples.

I see and hear many people answer the phone with a "Yeah?" Tsk, Tsk. Of course you can answer that way now because you usually know who is on the other end due to caller ID. Or maybe you're answering that way because you think you are a very important and busy person. What if, though, you treated the person calling with a little respect and courtesy? How about "Hello?" "Get your manners on."

What happened to opening the door for a lady? I know, I know, women are self sufficient and not in need of overt testosterone filled displays of manliness. So, let's take that a step farther, how about opening the door for anybody, male or female? I have always done this. It shows deference, a preference for the needs of others. Going into a gas station and in a hurry? You are not in too big of a hurry to open the door for another and let them get to the counter first. And you might get a little lift to your day in the form of a smile or kind word. Get your manners on.

Going to church or a movie? Put that cell phone on vibrate. And then answer the damn thing in the lobby. I don't care what your kids are doing to the dog or how your love life is going when I'm watching the Joker blow up a building. The fact that EVERYBODY has a cell phone ought to convey a sense of humility to your act of answering it anywhere or anytime. Get your manners on.

It was called "Common Courtesy" and by common we mean it should be common to the human race as a whole. It should, for the most part, not have to be taught. "Common Sense" ought to tell you that if you do not use "Common Courtesy" then you are not likely to get respect as well. We have become so smart and so educated and so busy that the trappings of a more genteel society are beneath us for the most part. Therein lays the problem.

The bulk of our interaction today is in the form of electronic devices. The telephone avoids face to face. The television avoids debate when we scream at the TV. Texting allows me to say what I want without inferring tone or inflection. My IPOD allows me to shut out the world around me. E mail eliminates the personal letter written by hand and infused with thought. I sit on my deck in the backyard instead of my front porch where I can see my neighbors and visit, or I stay inside and watch a "Reality Show" and thereby assure that I will avoid reality.

Manners requires a little time and effort, some thought put into what you are about to do for another. But the reward of the minor effort far outstrips the investment and in very short order it becomes a habit. So, America, get you manners on.

Learn more about this author, John Zienkosky.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.