by Trish Austin

Created on: April 04, 2009   Last Updated: April 23, 2010

Who is this?

I thought people couldn't change unless they wanted to.

Always dressed up and perfect

Had changed. Into

A non caring self loathing

Zombie.

Eating, sleeping, showering...

Why?

Please don't get me wrong.

This is no pity party I'm trying to throw.

It's my  polluted thoughts out loud.

I don't want your pity.

I want answers.

How could I have become a zombie?

Forced smile on my face when my sweet

Seven year old comes home.

Did I even comb my hair today?

Eat?

I don't care.

My heart is totally empty except

For the small locket held so tight

Of my girls that makes me feel.

Remember no pity.

Just answers I want.

How did this darkness

suddenly steal all my light ?

Despair, where were you born?

You surround me.

Like death, but I live.

Remember these are my thoughts.

Not cries for pity.

I'm told this will pass.

But, despair is like none I've felt.

A thousand lovers breaking my heart.

The only rays comes from that  tiny

But powerful locket held tight in my heart

Of my girls.

The love shines a small but powerful force of light through

my heart.  I must not give up. Or I will die.

What would they do? I can't. I won't let it happen.

I will get help and fight this despair.

I will get help.

I will wage a war.

Although one pathetic soldier I admit I am

No war is fought alone.

I will enlist the best soldiers of expertise.

Then we will devise strategy.

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