by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: April 03, 2009

If you are having problems in your marriage, you may be tempted to put a stop to the intimate relationship that you share with your spouse. You don't feel like they deserve any pleasure that you once offered with a smile, certainly, and on top of that, you really don't feel like putting forth the effort because your heart is probably not in it at this point. It isn't an unfamiliar feeling and you aren't alone by a long shot. Most marriages go through these times, at one time or another. But, that doesn't make it a good idea.

The sexual relationship between a man and his wife is important for far more than just procreation. That is one of the results that can take place, but it is not the most rewarding by a long shot. You can have twenty children, but without a satisfying marriage to their other parent, you are still going to be left with an unfulfilled part of your heart. The lovemaking of marital partners is a healing and bonding event that soothes the soul and the heart, bringing the couple to a common ground.

We've all heard about, and most of us have experienced, "make-up sex" after an argument. Have you noticed that every disagreement and issue between you seems just a little bit less significant while you are coupling together? You enter another time and place where life becomes about each other, putting each person's needs above your own, and you recall the love and pleasure that you give to each other rather than focusing on the hurts and disappointments you go through in your relationship. This is a very good thing.

When we rob one another of the sexual relationship, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to both give and receive the intense pleasure and beauty of passion in love. Our relationship loses the "fairytale part" and becomes nothing more than one crisis after another in a world of stress and too much reality. We never take a break from the pressures of day to day living to do nothing more than bask in one another's arms and bodies. This will lead to a great deal of frustration and disappointment within the marriage.

It never solves anything and contributes to an even further breakdown of communication. The only way you begin to relate to one another is in cold, harsh ways, having given up the loving moments where sweet nothings are whispered and fall upon our ears to enter our hearts as a balm. When we come together as a husband and wife, even in the midst of problems, we remember a better time, when peace and love were the order of the day. As we remember, we may even surprise ourselves and one another by falling back in love.

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