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Divorces can be rough things to navigate through and often emotions take the place of rational thought. Emotions in divorces are can be ugly things. Everything takes a backseat to those nasty emotions. Children need parents to continue to be parents even during the nastiest of divorces. Children always need parents capable of rational thought during divorces so that they can continue to be the happy children they were before the divorce.

In most situations when a divorce is happening the father leaves and the children end up with the mother by default. It has become an accepted fact that during a divorce children stay with the mother. Where this thought came from is beyond me but it is what happens.

It is then the Father's responsibility to go to court to arrange visiting rights. These visiting rights are not rights but they are something the father must fight for in most divorces. One could make the argument that a father should have immediate rights to his children and these should be as often as possible.

Equal custody rights are always the best ways to go. Now, equal rights may or may not work out with regards to physical custody. Life being what it is, it may dictate that the child may or may not spend an equal amount of time with the father. What does happen with equal custody rights is that the father has the right to make decisions, in conjunction with the mother, that affect the child's life.

For the sake of the children, both parents must put aside any animosity so that they can adequately deal with the problems of the child. The child is the most important thing and the only thing that holds the parents together. Fathers should have the right make important decisions in their children's lives, much as they would have before the divorce. Just because the father is no longer living under the same roof as the children does not mean that they shouldn't be parents.

Much is made of the term "in the best interest of the child" but no one truly knows what that means. In optimal circumstances the best interest of the child is usually within a stable family home with 2 loving parents, be they same sex or opposite sex. If that situation does not exist then it is the parent's responsibility to ensure that the child is given all priority in all matters. When a divorce happens the father does not divorce his children. As such, his rights should be equal to the mother from the time the divorce begins.

I find the idea that a father must go to court to have the ability to spend time with his children and to make decisions in his kid's lives ludicrous. I'll repeat, in a divorce the father does not divorce his children. Perhaps I should note that I have never been involved in a divorce so while some of this might sound like it's coming from personal bitter experience it is not.

Learn more about this author, R.A. Scott.
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