by Gloria Edmonson Nelson

Created on: April 03, 2009

Negative people will certainly drain your energy to the point that you can eventually become ill. Many people do not realize that many cancers evolve from stress, and there are other illnesses which have to etiology other than that you are emotionally worn out. We must learn to set limits with everyone. In other words, setting boundaries or parameters in order to preserve yourself!

I speak from personal experience. For many years I listened to people's problems, and they could call at any time; in fact, no hour was too late. Most of these people called either to "dump," complain, or gossip. When I would give advice; most of them did not take it, and would call back with another problem. At the time, I did not realize that I, too, had my own problems that I needed to deal with; but did not have time because I was listening to them.

After many years of anxiety and wondering where it evolved, after leaving abusive jobs and getting a divorce; through therapy and reading positive-thinking books; I realized my anxiety was not of my own; but was from the many years of simply listening repeatedly to negative people. Most of these people "enjoyed" their drama because they never took steps to improve themselves or remove themselves from the environment or relationship. I was being used as a "dumpster."

Many negative people sleep at night while you are dealing with their issues. I must share that no one on earth is exempt from problems; however, there are solutions for those who sincerely seek assistance. There are ways to overcome any adversity; but many people, as stated previously; do not want to hear the truth because it is too painful. Most do not want to work on themselves; so it is easier to just pass the problem on to someone else.

To reiterate, set limits for yourself; if you do not; others will, and because it will be about them and not about you; eventually it will deter you in some manner.

I recommend when dealing with someone who drains your energy the following:

1) Make sure you have Caller ID on your telephone. When you see the negative person's telephone number; do not answer

2) Use your answering machine often

3) Do not give them your cell number

4) Be busy or unavailable

5) If you have to; do not answer your door should they show up unannounced (that is what I had to do)

6) Send them spiritual books or cards

7) If they do not change, do not return their calls at all. Eventually they will stop calling you.

If the negative persons are relatives (who you cannot avoid); simply limit the amount of time that you are around them. You might have to love them from a distance.

Remember, you will have to choose who will live; you or the negative person! Thank God, I have learned to set limits!

Learn more about this author, Gloria Edmonson Nelson.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.