by Melinda Barr

Created on: April 03, 2009   Last Updated: April 18, 2009

Wimpy, undisciplined parents raise wimpy, undisciplined children; it is as plain and simple as that.

It is discouraging to see the number of misbehaving, disrespectful, and uncaring children being raised in today's society. They are everywhere in our schoolyards, our shopping malls and all over our street corners. I look at them with dismay, and yes, sometimes even with disgust. However, mostly I look at them with sadness and a great deal of pain in my heart.

Most anyone can have a child, but alas, not all can successfully raise a child. By successful, I do not mean to "grow a child up" that will happen naturally with or without parental influence. Nature will grow them, but only nurture can develop them.

Understandingly in some cases, many parents (both single and coupled) are struggling against job losses, rising utility and food costs and so on. However, the parent who is "wimpy & undisciplined" themselves are guilty in many cases of a form of child abuse. Unfortunately, our society and our courts do not see it as such.

These children did not ask to be born. They do not deserve this less than stellar form of child rearing by any stretch of the imagination. If you yourself are low in self-esteem, self-worth, or discipline, do not have children in the first place. Take care of yourself first to allow you to be a balanced role-model to your future children.

If the inevitable has already happened, and your bundle of joy has arrived, you are now facing one of the biggest challenges of your life. You can no longer afford the luxury of laziness, neglect, or feelings of "woe is me." This child deserves to be raised by a mature, responsible adult and nothing less is fair or reasonable.

If you cannot make these changes on your own, do it for the sake of the child. Read self-help manuals, how-to books and delve deeper into the issues that are currently holding you back. Seek professional and spiritual help if necessary. Do not punish your child with a less than stable upbringing because you are unwilling to make the changes you need to make.

Without changes, your child is more apt to grow up with serious emotional and mental issues of his own. It is very rare (although not impossible) for the children to learn the skills they need to safely navigate beyond the home and into the community. They may very well carry these same negative traits with them as they travel into adulthood and parenthood themselves.

Experts claim we all bring the baggage of our pasts with us into our adult years. You need to deal with your past issues in order to get over them and beyond them. You cannot hide from yourself forever. We should all love our children to get strong enough to provide them with security, safety, and self-esteem. This will not happen by osmosis, you will need to be strong and honest as you move forward.

Nobody can take this journey for you, although family and loved ones can support, encourage, and help you along the way. You owe it to your children to be the best that you can be.

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