by Nicole Cook

Created on: April 03, 2009   Last Updated: April 07, 2009

The definition of a functional family has changed greatly over the last century. What is it exactly that makes a family functional? Is it even possible for a family that is deemed dysfunctional to improve and change into a functional family? And who decides whether or not a family is functional anyway, the families members or outsiders? These are all questions that really have no clear cut answers as the family dynamic is constantly changing as the family makeup is changing too.

Many years ago the "ideal family" was established and it included a wife, a husband and 2.5 kids and a family dog. They lived in a perfect home with a great big yard surrounded by a white picket fence. The husband went to work each morning and the wife stayed home and maintained the house and family. The kids were home before dark and the husband was home at a reasonable time each night. The family sat down for dinner together and discussed their day. This ideal is quickly shattered in this day and age as more and more families are forced to become dual income families, kids are spending a large majority of their lives in child care facilities and no one has time to sit down as a family and have any kind of conversation.

Today the definition of family includes more generations as the more and more adult children have taken on the responsibility of caring for their elderly parents. Divorce and remarrying only increases the size of the extended family and all of these factors have an effect on the family's functionality.

Communication between family members is almost nonexistent these days and that is a large contributer to family dysfunction. Problems are not resolved between disagreeing members and therefore they simply fester into a full blown family issue. Trust, compassion and patience are an afterthought in todays families as there is simply no time to sort out problems. Fear of confrontation results in unspoken ill feelings between otherwise loving family members and a fear of hurting one anothers feelings also makes seemingly minor issues grow into full blown family wars. In todays average family, life is simply about surviving; whether it is the economy, troubled children, adultery, addiction, illness or divorce.

I belive a functional family is one that can communicate in such a manner that actually results in a positive outcome and can resolve any issue no matter how difficult. However with todays ever increasing breakdown in communication, those families are becoming far and few between.

Learn more about this author, Nicole Cook.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.