by Kathy Panicola

Created on: April 03, 2009   Last Updated: April 07, 2009

I have great passion for this topic! I am proud to say I have a happy and successful blended family. My husband and I have his, hers, and ours. We have made it a point not to use words like step, and half. We are a family, it doesn't matter how we became a family, we're a family through and through. We love all the children for who they are, not for who their parents are. And they love us for who we are.

I have a daughter to whom I am not her biological mother but she tells me all the time how fortunate she is because she has two woman she can turn to in times of need, weather she needs advice, someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on. She has two moms and she considers herself the luckiest girl in the world. I truly consider myself blessed for the family that I have. When people ask, how many children do you have? I proudly raise my head high and say, "five." The next question is always, are they all yours? And once again I proudly raise my head and say,"yes." I usually follow with,"you asked me how many children I have, why would I tell you how many children someone else has?"

I'm not saying that at times the words step-parent or step-child aren't used, because they are, but when they are it is in the "outside world." In our home its mom, dad, brother, sister. If you met my kids you wouldn't know that they didn't all come from the same mom and dad. My husband and I have been together now for almost twenty years. And from the very beginning I knew what he was walking through the door with, and he knew what I was walking through the door with, and we made it very clear to everyone concerned, that the children did not ask for the lives they were born into. We were the ones who chose to bring them into this world, and it was up to us to do what we had to do to help them make it through life successfully. It hasn't always been easy, but it has always worked itself out. My husband, and I have also tried to keep our relationships with our ex-e's friendly, because that was what was best for our children as well. It wasn't always easy, but nothing worth wild ever is. I remember attending a parenting class years ago, and the instructor told us that we had a functioning dysfunctional family, and to keep up the good work, because not many people have the success with a blended family as we do. We love our children and our children love us, who could ask for anything more? We also have grandchildren, I'm the Mamaw, and my husband's the Papaw, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I may owe the success of my blended family to my Grandfather, he was my Uncle's "Step-Father," and I never knew until my parents told me as a teenager, and the only reason they told me, was because of a problem with a nasty relative. I would like to say to that relative,"I'm sorry you never experienced the joy of being a step parent.Because you see, your blood doesn't have to run through your child's veins for him or her to be your child."

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