by Suzi George

Created on: April 03, 2009

Is that really a question? Should children visit a grandparent with Alzheimer's? A resounding absolutely yes is the answer. The question you're asking is why? Children need to learn compassion. If they have always known their grandparent as healthy and fun, seeing them in this state opens up a learning experience.

My mom has dementia and many days says bizarre yet funny things. When we visit her, my two youngest children go with me to see several patients as well. One in particular has third stage Alzheimer's but my son and daughter love her to pieces. Some days she is with it and others, not so much. However, the nurses have related to me that it warms their heart to see such young children visit others and comfort them too. I have not told my children to, they just do it. It's one of the best ways to learn that as we age, we change and our minds might go long before our bodies. Accepting this as a part of life and learning to continue to support and love your family member is important.

Children will learn not to be frightened or worried too. They will learn there's nothing to fear with the patients. Another aspect is this, if you fail to take your child until death of their grandparent, they will not understand the situation and it will upset them moreso than seeing them in less than perfect condition.

Children are resilent and more understanding than we give them credit for. If taught at a young age, they will carry this into aduklthood and pass it on to their own children. Acceptance is an important attribute that can be taught at an early age. When my children's great-grandmother became ill with cancer, they counted the days down until we could visit her. She was still their nanny no matter that she was bed bound and sick. This is the same for Alzheimer's patients. They are there, just on another level of reality.

Many will argue that seeing a loved one in this state, especially a beloved grandparent is harmful to the child but this is simply not true. It's reality and one that each child should be able to experience at least once in their lifetime. This oftentimes prepares the child for later in life when their own parent may also develop the disease. At our facility, we have made many friends. The nurses, the aides and the other residents light up when I bring my kids to visit. That is rewarding to me as a parent and them too. The nurses and aides joke with them and tell them what great kids they are for being so loving and wonderful. Although they wish their grandma was more with it, she makes them laugh with her version of events ant that keeps everyone happy.

Give your child credit and offer them the chance to experience the end of life in a different sort of way that will leave a lasting impression on them.

Learn more about this author, Suzi George.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.