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Cheating husbands should always be forgiven, not for them, but for you. It is proven that people who harbor unforgiveness in their hearts suffer higher rates of many illnesses and even life-threatening diseases. Bitterness and hate will quite literally destroy you as it eats away at even your physical body. Forgiving this most painful betrayal is not easy. This is the man that you trusted and devoted years of your life to and yet they turned around and threw your love back in your face as though it was worthless.

Forgiving does not mean that you must continue to live your life with him. It doesn't require you to leave yourself open to more hurt and lies. It only means that you will not allow hate to develop and grow in your own spirit. There are many times that we forgive, but it would not be in good sense to place ourselves right back in the place of pain. For example, if you had a friend that robbed you blind, you could forgive, but it would be unwise to continue to hang out with them and leave your purse or wallet laying out in the open. It's the same with a cheating spouse. Forgive, but if the chances are good that they'll repeat the same action, don't leave your heart out in the open for them to destroy further.

There are some cases, however, where the marriage is still worth saving. My own marriage is the perfect example of this. My husband, although he did not enter a full sexual relationship with another woman, did enter into an emotional affair and there were a couple of kisses exchanged. When I found out, months after it had ended, I was devastated. I was sure that my marriage was over and I would be in divorce court yet again.

The problem was that there was no way I could scream, "how could you do this to me?" as though I had clean hands. In reality, I had been a terrible wife to him, tearing him down constantly, being generally disrespectful, and trying to change him into my mold for a perfect man. Why would I do this? I am not typically a mean hearted, cold woman. To put it frankly, I had married him fresh out of another relationship that ended horrifyingly bad and I was definitely not over the last husband when we left for our honeymoon. Honestly, I walked on the beach and cried, missing my former spouse with all my heart.

That was so unfair to my current husband. Little by little, I managed to emasculate him until he felt like he was worthless to me, nothing more than a paycheck. What an awful thing I had done! Could I understand what had led him into a relationship where he felt good about himself? Yes. Did that make his decision to do so the right one? Absolutely not! But, was there some foundation left on which to rebuild our shattered marriage? There was, and here we are today doing just that.

It turns out that when I was threatened with actually losing him, I discovered a love for him that I never even knew I had. He was suddenly very attractive to me, even though he was as different from my ex as day and night. It's not easy to go on with a man that I lost a certain amount of trust in. I forgave him in the beginning, yet I find myself often having to forgive again as the memories and hurts crop back up. They get less frequent all the time and things get better and better between us, but it has not been easy street.

Whether or not you opt to give the marriage a second chance at survival, you must dig deep and forgive. It will be hard, I know, and it will take all the willpower you have, but it's worth it. Only when you have forgiven him will you be able to move on and find love and happiness once again. Don't allow bitterness to destroy you. That only allows him to hurt you over and over again.

Learn more about this author, Victoria Tiegert.
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