by Victoria Rose Perkins

Created on: April 02, 2009

The importance of a father for a child's full developement is crucial. Maybe that is why it takes both, a Mom and a Dad, to create a child in the first place. You cannot have one without the other.

For the son or daughter to reach their absolute personal best in all aspects of emotional maturity, relationship bonding, self-esteem and memories of just a plain old carefree childhood, a Dad is needed.

The importance of having a Dad who thinks you are the apple of his eye, is invaluable for growing up to be a whole, well-rounded optimistic person. Failures will be put in better perspective and the drive to succeed will stay with you.

There are two poignant songs which tell the story of how it feels to grow up without a caring, loving father. One is called "Cats in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin. The Dad was there, but was not there. He was too busy with his job until one day (when he becomes an old man), he wants to visit with his son, but his son is now busy with a family of his own.

The other song is sung by the Judd's and its called "Grampa, tell me 'bout the good old days". This is where a young girl asked her grandfather, "Did families really bow thier heads to pray, and daddys never really went away." Both these songs reveal what most of us already know and feel, at our core level, about the importance of having a Dad who loves us unconditionally, if we grew up without one.

Without a loving father in our lives, we grow up incomplete. It affects are future relationships with the opposite sex. We came into this world as being very needy. All of us did. When those needs are not satisfied, we look to others to help fill that lonely unexplainable ache and a sense of some kind of constant emptiness. Only a loving Dad could have taken that away.

Daughters who grow up without an adoring father will be vulnerable to young boys, needing their approval to feel good about themselves. She will have doubts about her own femininity and self-worth. With a hole in her heart, she will most likely marry someone who will take advantage of her need and she will end up feeling, when the relationship fails, "it must be my fault."

Sons who miss out on having a Dad to guide them, pat them on the back and show them how proud they are of them, grow up with an insecurity about themselves. They will always feel a need to "prove" themselves in some way. Risk-taking behaviors as teens in front of their peers, is one way. Another, is when they are grown up, trying to prove they are the best at their jobs or whatever endeavors they take on. Sadly, even when they are the best, it never feels good enough. The ache in the tummy stays.

So, Dads, (especially if you don't live with your child), tell your daughter she's the prettiest, smartest little girl you know. Tell her often. Like the wind, the years will quickly and definitely fly away and before you know it, you will be walking your beautiful, happy grown-up "little girl" down the aisle, giving her away to someone who will love and treasure her as much as you do.

Likewise with sons. One more old song comes to mind. "Turn around, turn around." "Turn around and you're 3, turn around and you're 4, turn around and you're a young man walking out of the door."

Give him guidance, praise and hugs, he will grow up to be a happy, successful young man and when he gets rewarded at his job or otherwise, he will truly feel he earned it. He will be a contented and confident son, one who does not have to prove to anyone, "I am a good man......just like my Dad."

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