by J. Thornton-Thomas

Created on: April 02, 2009

We tend to trust people because we know their character, but why is it that we say we trust the Lord and when we're in the midst of a storm or spiritual attack-we faint away and panic?

I've asked myself that question over and over again. Is it because I don't know enough about God's character? Why is it that I can trust Him with the little things but not the big things? The truth hit me one day-it's because I haven't spent enough time getting to know Him or His Word. I kept coming up with excuses like: "I read the Bible almost every day" or "But I really do trust Him and I know He's never let me down ..." but I eventually had to face the truth. Sure I read my Bible and I prayed regularly, but I still didn't know Him. I was busy with youth ministry, taking care of family and my son's sports-there just wasn't enough time in the day for everything I had to do.

It was those things-those distractions that kept me from developing a closer relationship with the Lord. I was too busy to meet him during those early hours of morning or too tired to spend the last hours of the evening just getting to know him. I complained recently of not being able to hear His voice, but in reality, I was too consumed with the daily distractions of life to just be still.

I must admit that sitting still was really hard for me. Although my body wasn't moving, my mind was in overdrive, thinking about what to cook for dinner, finishing up a writing deadline, preparing the handouts for my youth ministry, being mom, wife, driver and cheerleader-it was just so much to do. I felt overwhelmed and a bit resentful at times, but ultimately, I could only blame myself.

I'd lost my connection to God and when the storms hit, I couldn't handle the pressure and sunk into a pity party. I felt like God had abandoned me and I can't put into words to describe the loneliness I experienced. But then God stepped in and everything came to a screeching halt. I am a full-time writer with over 30 books in print and suddenly I found myself without a contract-something that hadn't happened in 15 years. I couldn't sell a thing for 11 months, which in turn caused some financial hardships along the way. We had to sell our home as we needed the money I brought in for the mortgage and move into a tiny apartment for 10 months.

The testimony in this is that the day after we moved into the apartment-I received a call from my agent with 2 contracts and two days later, another for a total of 5 books sold. It was then that I realized God stopped the pace for a reason. During these past 10 months, my family and I became so much closer. We worshipped and studied the Word together-something that we hadn't done in the past.

As a result of that storm, I now have my priorities in order and I make time to spend those precious moments with the Lord. Through the storm, I drew closer to Him, which increased my faith and I've learned to place my complete trust in him. Things that used to bother me, don't any more and I don't stress over deadlines as I did before. God blessed us with a new home and we've been in here for about a month. There are still packing boxes everywhere, but it doesn't matter. We will take it one day at a time and eventually everything will get unpacked. What's important is that I take time to sit still and listen for so soft voice of my Heavenly Father.

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