by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: April 02, 2009

About a year ago, my husband let me know that he couldn't figure me out and furthermore, he wasn't going to try anymore. What ensued was the worst year of our marriage, almost completely destroying it. I admit it, I can be hard to understand. I do change my mind alot and what I need today may not be exactly what I need tomorrow. Most women are like that. They are the more colorful of the sexes, completely opposite their male counterparts whose worlds tend to be much more black and white in their natures.

No person in a relationship (at least one that they want to keep) should ever give up on trying to figure out what it is that they can do to satisfy, pleasure, and enhance the lives of their partner. I do understand, though, that it can be difficult. It will take time, patience, and understanding for you men, but you can do it! If my husband, who is one of the most unromantic, uncreative, unfeminine men I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, is finally catching on, I have complete confidence in every other man as well. The following are the top ten things that I want him to know. Some of them he's gotten or is on his way towards, and the others we still have plenty of time for, because since he decided to try again, our lives together are wonderful.

1-Women's lib was to give women the freedom to have choices, not the freedom to take on all of mens' responsibilities. I want the choice to work outside the home, but I also want the choice not to. I want the option to wear pants, but I also want to dress up for him. I want to be allowed into a man's world, but I still want him to see me as a lady. And, I definitely want to keep my bra firmly attached and my legs shaved!

2-Even when I'm mad at him, I really do want a hug. I might put on a false facade that makes it appear that I'm pulling away, but it's all an act. I want him to put forth the effort to take me in his arms and tell me he loves me, faults and all. He is still my strength.

3-I need him to remember to appreciate all that I do. It's not that I want to be some kind of hero, but if I feel like I'm pleasing him, I only want to do better. A little gratitude will go a long way with me.

4-I want him to ask my opinion, maybe even my permission, before he makes big decisions. I wish he knew though, that it's not because I want to be in control. I want to feel like he values my opinion. If the truth were known, I would never say no to a man who treated me well, because my heart would want to see his desires fulfilled.

5-Even

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