by Kara Cain

Created on: April 01, 2009

I have been in humorous relationships, and then I have been in humorless relationships. The humorless ones, in the words of the great tragic playwright Sophocles, "can make a short road take forever", particularly if you have a good-humored and a no-humor person together. I think for some people, though, humor holds profound significance in relationships. The abilitly to smile and laugh at things around us is a wonderful thing, and when a relationship is devoid of this simple pleasure life takes on a much more dreary tone.

A study I recently found interesting was one in which they found that humor is one of the most intimate parts of a relationship. The mechanisms behind what makes us laugh is very complex, and all the little things that come together to make humor are such important parts of a person's personality that two people with similar senses of humor are compatible on a very deep level. Although I'm not too sure about a general sense of humor because it appeals to such a large sample of the populus, I can personally say that individuals with a very interesting or unique sense of humor can attest to this study. I myself posses a very esoteric sense of humor, and many think me humorless. However, those that know what will make me laugh are ones whom I connect with on the deepest leves, because they are similarly tuned. Humor, therefore, is a wonderful test of compatibility between two people.

Another important aspect of humor in relationships is the simple fact that when two people laugh together, it creates a very real, very intimate bond. The simple act of two people sharing a laugh instantly creates a fuzzy feeling, and that is a great boost for any relationship. It goes beyond simply laughing, however, and delves into knowing what will make the other person chuckle. It can make a person feel incredibly warm inside when, on a rough day, another person can say "I think this'll cheer you up." There is always something special about someone who knows how to make you laugh, with whom you share a few inside jokes, and it is an amazing testament to how well two people understand each other.

Aside from compatibility and understanding, simply laughing at life's quirks and follies is a good way to go through the day. People who can laugh at one another tend to fight less and there is less tension between them. The couple who laughs together deals with life in a more healthy manner than those who sit in forlorn silence. This is, obviously, very good for a relationship. It serves as a double-bonding thing: not only does getting through tough times really bring a couple together, the laughter helps them become even closer. Humor can be an outlet for emotional or physical trauma, or a kinder way to express fears, issues, and frustration. When such sensitive things are expressed humorously, then there is a greater ease between two people and the wry comment is often easier to force from the lips than the woeful "deep breath".

A relationship without humor is a very bleak one indeed. As one who believes that you should laugh manaically at life, I cannot imagine a good relationship without laughing. Humor bonds us together. It brings us together. There is no better feeling than someone knowing how to make you smile, especially if you've a difficult sense of humor. Humor is vital to life and to love.

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