by Gary Cain

Created on: April 01, 2009

Violent Video Games Develop Top Business Leaders

This past Monday, scholars at the Upper University of Coveted Knowledge (UUCK) made the startling announcement that mastery of violent video games as teenagers proves to be an excellent predictor of later success in the business world. In UUCK's own stunning words "the bloodier, the deadlier, the better." Immediately following this shocking announcement, stocks of each of the leading video game manufacturers doubled and tripled, and retailers since are struggling to keep up with exploding customer demand.

UUCK spokesperson, Dr. Restin Peace, described their 10-year study in which each year's top 100 nationally ranked scorers of the most violent and bloody computer games on the market were polled annually thereafter. The scholars tracked the gamers' grade point averages and graduation rates for those in high school and college, subsequent field of employment, job title, salary, number of reportees, and achievements.

Without exception, high school and college graduation rates were stellar, at 100%, although GPAs were surprisingly mediocre, at 2.1 of a possible 4.0. Although to date unproven, authorities suspect the perfect graduation rate may be due to "large, anonymous donations," possibly from video game tournament winnings.
When reached for comment, school representatives immediately hung up, rushed into urgent meetings, or slammed doors in reporters' faces.

Upon entry into the working world, however, all of these ex-cyber war heroes, master-blaster car thieves, and champion alien disintegrators were found to display a meteoric rise in their careers. While their GPAs would only have predicted average intelligence and career potential, clearly these star gamers possess something which uniquely sets them apart and ahead in the business environment.

In-depth interviews and questionnaires of these former champion gamers, their workplace superiors, and subordinates, quickly pinpointed that critical competitive edge. Perhaps to no one's great surprise, that edge is a killer instinct, pure and simple. When confronted with any workplace challenge, the ex-gamers' uniform strategy is to hit the obstacle with every possible resource at their disposal, plus those they could summon from those around them, whether gained through accepted channels or otherwise. The gamers' edge also includes a cold, heartless, take-no-prisoners approach.
Camaraderie is not a strong point.
They care not who they step on or push out of the way to achieve

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